Frightened to go anywhere

[tingnting]

I don't know if i'm posting this in the right place, but here goes, all the same..
I was stabbed in my chest last summer, the guy who did this was caught & has since pleaded guilty & will spend the better part of his life in jail (thank God). It has been 8 months now since the stabbing & i'm still petrified about venturing out-doors.. I haven't been outside for months & spend weeks at a time in bed, which is not good, as i have not returned to work, missed appointments with my Doctor & Counsellor, i don't go shopping or do any regular stuff like that..

Basically, i don't have a clue what to do anymore about anything, & now i think about suicide quite often.. Can anybody out there tell me what help i can get, please, before it becomes a very desparate situation.. Thank you all very much in advance...!!

[concern_citizen]

I do understand how you feel it is very scary and nowadays you cant say that a certain place is safe. But God is so good to you, HE has given you a nother chance of life. Have you got any family or friends who can be with you? And you can always come in here in the forum and have a chat. Hope to hear from you soon. Take care.

[tingnting]

Thank you for your reply.. I have become a total recluse since i came out of hospital.. I don't answer the phone, so friends don't call anymore & to be honest, i have become a not a nice person anymore & have chose not to speak to any family members, reason being is that i don't want them to see me so affected by what has happened..! I see myself as a real wimp unable to overcome this, so God knows what they'll think of me...?!

[mark]

Try and take one step at a time.. I'm no doctor but its worth focusing on something.. Start a hobby e.g. crafts , make some stuff then your might be attached to going to fairs and shops to support your hobby etc.. ?

Hope that makes sense!

[tingnting]

That doesn't sound to bad.. do any of you guys know of any 'in-house' counselling,? as i don't relish the idea of going out for anything right now.. Thank you..

[sash]

I have to share something with you tingnting.
I had a similar situation in my life when i became so desperate that I was going to suicide,when
Someone.......someone was there for me.My friend who gave me time helped out forgetting that.
I think you need a true friend or someone else to help you with that.

[tingnting]

I don't want any friends or family anywhere near me.. People are just hassel, they get on my nerves & i wish they would all p*ss off & leave me alone..

I try to reach out to someone for help & advice, like this forum for want of a better example, & i just get ignored.. So in the end the problem has multiplied.. Why bother..??!

[Jason]

sorry guys I was out of town and i came only yesterday.. hmmm first of all are you not happy that your alive Tingnting?

[tingnting]

hmmm first of all are you not happy that your alive Tingnting?

No sh*t Sherlock..!

[Jason]

haa... ha,,,lol... nice way of putting it ..
Exactly, so what are your going to do to make it more worth? I saw a move called “Saving private Ryan” it’s an old movie where Tom hanks says to Matt damon the word “earn this” I don’t know if you have seen it or not but its an old move, anyway to keep his promise he lives a very good life till up to an old age. I may be wrongly interpreting the story but my point is life is more worth than anything else in this world and GOD has give u that.

[Jason]

I have a question to ask you I should have asked you before. What were you doing before all this happened?. did you work anyware else? Just want to know. thats all you no need to answer if you don’t want to..

[tingnting]

I was a Personal trainer for 8 years & was self employed, but now for the first time in my life, i have to claim incapacity benefit..

My neighbour who is 72 years old, was having her car robbed at knife-point.. I confronted the 'robber' & was stabbed in the chest for my troubles...

So now you're going to harp on about God to me.. Well let me ask you.. What kind of God lets us live in a toilet world like this..??
(for the record, i don't believe in any illusions) And please, don't reply to this post with movie quotes.. I live in the real world..!!

[Jason]

so your blaming GOD? GOD never did anything wrong to us apart form he gave us the most valuable gift of life and to know what is good and bad in other word he gave us the "free will to think”. All this "toilet world" as you said was created by us. so we have to blame our self for that. Its nice to know that you’re a Personal trainer. And you have to be proved of what you did there. I am very prod to know that. In Britton I have seen many people they just run away to avoid problems and see what you have done. You may have saved your neighbour life Yes? So that’s why your more worth for GOD and see how things will turn up.

[sash]

That all depends upon your faith and how you look upon your life.
There are many out there desperate and don't want to live but are living for some cause.
If you have a cause for life you'll live but if not....
I agree with Jason.
Search truth,your purpose of living,why you are created for,and why "death".
Find answers to these and you'll get your purpose to live.to work and....

[tingnting]

I have a daughter aged 9. I need to know that she's o.k, thats why i bother..
But our purpose on this planet is to reproduce. All the stuff in the mean-time is just bullsh*t until we die... After we pass the age of reproduction, then we begin to die. ie/ bad backs, joints, etc..

[sash]

Now thats the point that you will find in religious scriptures.
Person exited in youth and then does not like anything when heading towards death.
Then what is the purpose of our creation?
If this life is for just reproducing then why death?
If this life is for enjoyment then why not permanent life?
Do you have answers to these questions?

[Jason]

from where did you get this idea that our purpose of life is only to" reproduce"? think about it. before all this stabbing happend will you say the same words? like we all just hear to "reproduce" only? 1 more question do you belive in GOD at all?

[tingnting]

No..!! i don't believe in God or any other illusion..!!

[Jason]

well i thought so! so you don’t believe in GOD! after this stabbing happened or from start? can i ask u .. why u thought of saving your neighbour? why u just didn’t go away like other do? why made you to confront him?

so your saying you got a daughter aged 9, and ur saying u care about her and you wanted her to be OK, if your thinking about suicide will that help her to be OK?

[tingnting]

She is unaware that i have contemplated suicide, & no, i'm sure this wouldn't be productive for her to know my current train of thought..

Please tell me why God has absolutely anything to do with me being stabbed in the chest..??

[Jason]

Good question tingnting… now your trying to understand that there is a reason for everything!.. There was a reason for you to came in contact with this Guy who tried to rob your neighbour’s car. You did not care about your life at that time. You were not selfish to live, you risked your life to save another life. Do you know what GOD did to us? It’s the something. When you can help others like that where nobody would have done. How worth is your life. Think about this.

Now tell me how you feel about what you have done as human benign

[tingnting]

I feel cheated & p*ssed off.. Because some low-life decides to take an old womans car, the quality of life for me & my famiy has become depressing.. I should've let him taken the car.. What does it matter to me whether he has the car or not, it's just that my ego got in the way, stupidly enough..!!

[concern_citizen]

I agreed with Jason. "Life is more worth than anything else in this world" so tingnting you just have to be thankful that your still alive and just need to slowly move on. Some people in this forum are happy to chat with you but if you refused other options like friends and family it will be very hard on your part. You can go through local or private counselling in your area and you didnt get ignored because there are few members who reply to your post. I am happy to have a chat with you but of course I can't assure you that it will help you move on because it will all depend on your motivation.

[sash]

Please tell me why God has absolutely anything to do with me being stabbed in the chest..??

Are you talking about stabbing.
Don't you think about all those persons out there having bullets in their bodies and those who crippled for life.And all other which are seriously injured.
Well I should say that your stabbing is nothing compared to other heavy attacks on peoples.
Look,
If you want to live than you will have to forget such incidents,considering them as part of life.

[tingnting]

Yeah, what a great idea.. According to sash, i should forget about being near fatally stabbed, losing my lively-hood & inflicting all my self pity on my family & just consider this as part of life & to move on...!!

sash, have you ever considered working for the Samaritans...??

[tingnting]

An update if anyone is interested:- The person would stabbed me, has just recieved a 10 year sentence & will serve a minimum of 6 & a 1/2 years because he pleaded guilty..

[Damian]

thanks for updating this info with us. do you feel more relaxed now? after all theses days and months of waiting for hearings.. I have seen ppl get really fed up when they have asked to visit courts rooms very frequently for months and months.. did you had this kind of feeling too?

[tingnting]

Yes, i do feel like a grand piano has been lifted off my back.. It has been on the local news, which is something i could've done without..!! But in any case, that chapter is over.. I have a job interview on Monday, & i'll use this as a new beginning.. still unsure if it's worth chasing compensation..

[Damian]

That’s the sprit…. Well-done tingnting. It was on the news too?. Was it on the TV or on the local newspapers? All the best for the Job interview. :)

[tingnting]

I heard on it local radio. Thank you for the much needed good fortune i my interview..

[concern_citizen]

Well congratulation and happy to hear that your feeling a bit better. Goodluck on your job interview. Well of course you deserved to be compensated and its your right to be compensated after all the things you have been... and for your daughtter's sake be brave and may the good fortune be with you.

[Jason]

I feel cheated & p*ssed off.. Because some low-life decides to take an old womans car, the quality of life for me & my famiy has become depressing.. I should've let him taken the car.. What does it matter to me whether he has the car or not, it's just that my ego got in the way, stupidly enough..!!

Since you said about ego I like to point out few things to you. If your ego is ruling you too much, and if you’re unable to control it there are some articles about how to control your ego. If you’re interested you can read it. Believe it or not it’s worth reading it. “Man have fought battles just for this ego, and 100rds and 1000’s of people have died because for this ego”. I think it’s useful for everybody to read this.

the below lines are not mine, I just read it from other site..

It goes like this….

About Ego:
Some people say that it's a "self-organizing principle," and it
commands and coordinates the different aspects of a self. This
self-organizing principle is neither positive nor negative but there
is another definition of ego: pride, arrogant, self-importance, self-infatuation.
A demon that thrives on power, domination, control and separation, that cares only about itself and is willing to destroy anything and everything that is good and true in order to survive intact and always in control. This demon lacks any capacity for empathy, compassion, generosity or love; delights in its perfect invulnerability; and, worst of all, will never ever acknowledge that
which is sacred.

So how to over come your egos?
There are lots of sites says about this topic but I personally liked this one

http://www.askrealjesus.com/Q_OVERCOMEEGO/AAEgomain.html

And please read the topic: Part 1. Spiritual blindness – the main challenge presented by the ego

Read it till the end …

[tingnting]

thank you very much...!!

[sash]

Sorry for my harsh words.
Good luck for your new life.
I will speacially pray for you and for your success.